23 Emotions: Mauerbauertraurigkeit

Sorry I haven't been here, 
and that I've gone away.
I know my absence hurts you,
but I just couldn't stay.

You know how much I love you,
and that I always will,
but in the moment, right now,
I can't swallow this pill.

No matter where I travel,
how far away I go,
though oceans may divide us,
I'll come back again somehow.

But please, just in this moment,
while pushing you away,
know this (and know it fully)
someday I'll come and stay.

mauerbauertraurigkeit n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.

An Invitation

I am more than the sum of my parts...

and you, you boy, are not aiming at my heart.

Your question through Bumble is not "cheeky" or kind.

I'm surprised that you didn't think that I would mind.

Yes, I know my smile is white and straight,

but that's not an open invitation for us to mate.

My eyes are sparkling in the photo, it's true,

but they aren't (in this case) sparkling for you!

You see, you don't know me, don't presume that you do!

'cause when you do, it makes me really, really not want to get to know you.

Just because this app reduces us to a swipe left or right,

it doesn't me that I'm going to sleep with you tonight...

We've both been flattened into 0's and 1's,

and this modern dating, it just really (really!) isn't any fun...

But I am interested to see how your mind works,

and discover if we can coexist without turning into jerks.

I want to step away from this flattened binary code,

and with you by my side, hit the open road.

23 Emotions: Jouska

Jangling 'round my head, 

a jouska, following the usual thread.

'round and around in circles I go.

A one-sided conversation, I know, I know!

It can't be helped, this dialogue of one.

I wish, at least, that it were fun.

The control is all mine, in this mono-dialogue.

Ha! ...and of course it has ended up on my blog.

I've reduced you, first, to words in my head.

Oh, I wish that it were somewhere else, instead.

Reduction continues, it plays along.

You've become a binary code, it seems just plain wrong.

Once you were a man, flesh, blood and bone,

but now you're nothing (just bits of code).

and I am alone.

Alone.

one

jouska n. a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head--a crisp analysis, a cathartic dialogue, a devastating comeback--which serves as a kind of psychological batting cage where you can connect more deeply with people than in the small ball of everyday life, which is a frustratingly cautious game of change-up pitches, sacrifice bunts, and intentional walks.