23 Emotions: Mauerbauertraurigkeit

Sorry I haven't been here, 
and that I've gone away.
I know my absence hurts you,
but I just couldn't stay.

You know how much I love you,
and that I always will,
but in the moment, right now,
I can't swallow this pill.

No matter where I travel,
how far away I go,
though oceans may divide us,
I'll come back again somehow.

But please, just in this moment,
while pushing you away,
know this (and know it fully)
someday I'll come and stay.

mauerbauertraurigkeit n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.